absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
