she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i drank out of a bidet.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
