i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
