Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
