what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize