FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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