im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
