The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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