a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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