at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
