I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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