I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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