Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
