Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
