I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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