I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Randomize
