Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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