we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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