I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
