It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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