i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
At least life still wants to fuck me.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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