Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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