I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
