Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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