I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
