i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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