if you like me you must not know who I am
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
