dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize
