i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
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