My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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