It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
