Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
