totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
i think we sleep fucked last night...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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