It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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