White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
