he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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