If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
