Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize