how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
17 year olds will be the death of me.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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