my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
