Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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