dude i'm inner monologue high
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
