I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
you never un-have a 4some
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize