Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Randomize
