Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
