so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
