she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
