Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
