Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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