I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
