I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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