could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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