good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
