Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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