i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Randomize
