21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
