the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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