I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
