I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Is it penis luge time yet?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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