Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
