she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
