is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
