I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
