Why are handjobs necessary in class?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
a search helicopter?!
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
