he puts the penis in happiness.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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