I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
