Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
